NOT EVERYONE IS DESTINED TO MARRY
In this life, not everyone are destined to marry. Some are destined by God to but there are some who won’t get married, for the sake of the kingdom. Therefore you ought to understand that you’re not sinning if you choose not to marry (I Corinthians 7:8) nor is marriage a sin (I Corinthians 7:1).
There are people who aren’t meant to marry at all but these ones are very rare to find. If such people keep struggling to find a lifepartner, they sure will make a huge mess of themselves. They may become lost in this desire and knowingly or unknowingly drift away from what he thinks about them.
Nevertheless, you don’t have to let someone decide for you if you really need to marry or not. God knows his plans for you, so go to him. Humans can misguide but God can’t. Your feelings and other impressions can misguide you but he can’t. This doesn’t mean that those feelings and impressions aren’t needed. They’re needed because the Spirit may use them to guide you. Sometimes, we may feel we never may marry but that’s just a feeling. While it’s a feeling, it could be of big help or supply us bigger loss.
In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul was on both sides – agreeing or refusing to – which means that it required freedom of choice not absenting God’s wisdom. In I Cor. 7:1, Paul explained that it’s “good” for a man not to touch a woman, which he made clear that all he was saying wasn’t to be taken as a new command but something in way of permission. The grace to marry or not has been given to all men. It’s a matter of choice not absenting the will of God based on what he’s planned for us.
Paul used the word, ‘good’ in vs 1, but didn’t use the word, ‘compulsory’ which imply that the word ‘good’ means something ‘beneficial’ but not everyone can accept it. It isn’t a command that you ought not to marry nor will anyone crucify you if you don’t. Marriage is a great blessing which God gives anyone, and it consists of a true life-partner who will be with us in our moments of pain and laughter for life. Paul still used the word, ‘good’ in vs 8 which in the real sense indicate that it is ‘beneficial’ not ‘compulsory’ for the unmarried and widows to be unmarried.
Therefore, you can see that marriage is also a matter of choice but also a great blessing which God has blessed the earth with. It’s him who blessed the man with a wife for them to become man and wife.
Jesus taught in Matthew 19:9-12 about marriage. However, there’s the part (vs 12) which expatiates more on eunuchs: those who were born eunuchs from the womb; those who were made so by men; those who made themselves so for the kingdom of God. These live on earth today. Some have been born that way without the opportunity to marry. For these ones, it’s their destiny! It wasn’t decided by anyone but God. Those who refuse to marry for the sake of the kingdom did this out of free will, not coercion. They only want one thing to attend: doing Father’s business.
Paul talked about this in his letter – My desire is to have you free from all anxiety and distressing care. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord–how he may please the Lord; 33But the married man is anxious about worldly matters–how he may please his wife– 34And he is drawn in diverging directions [his interests are divided and he is distracted from his devotion to God]. And the unmarried woman or girl is concerned and anxious about the matters of the Lord, how to be wholly separated and set apart in body and spirit; but the married woman has her cares [centered] in earthly affairs–how she may please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:32-34).
He gave the reason for saying that:
Now I say this for your own welfare and profit, not to put [a halter of] restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly and in good order and to secure your undistracted and undivided devotion to the Lord (vs 35).
In this verse, there are two important phrases:
“for ‘ur own good”
“Not to restrict you”
Both of these points us toward free will.
WHEN WE STRUGGLE TO MARRY
You don’t need to struggle in order to get married. All you need to do is trust Jesus and let him have his way. The more you struggle, the further you may make errors. It doesn’t take God a second to guide a good husband to you or wife to you. What you need is WAIT on him!
WORDS ARE ALSO IMPORTANT
Think about this! If you had been asking God for someone’s hand in marriage and you heard the following as an answer – Not Yet; No; Yes, please don’t jump into conclusion and begin telling everyone whatever you think he might be saying.
First consider those words,
1. When he says ‘Not Yet’: When God says NOT YET, he doesn’t mean NO. There’s a difference between No and Not Yet. Therefore, don’t go tell everyone: God said I shouldn’t marry. Did he really say that? He said, WAIT!
2. When God says ‘No’: This is an answer that depends on the nature of our question. Questions like: Lord, do you want me to marry? may take a NO or YES or even a NOT YET. However, we can agree that such question rarely get a NO. But when we have someone in mind, our question could be, Lord, do you want me to marry Jake? Lord, do you want me to marry Donna? Should I marry Bill? Or is Catherina your will for me? Such questions may take a Yes or No depending on Father’s plan for you. If he says NO, then ask further: Lord, if not him/her, then who?
NOTE A PROBLEM: One Problem which we usually fail to avoid is the error of telling everyone: ‘God said this!’ ‘God said that!’ I have made those mistakes myself and I know how painful it gets to be when I notice I shouldn’t have said anything. However, if God guides you to tell someone, don’t fail to do so, but be sure he’s the one who’s doing the guiding.